I was just considering the description of this blog — “mother, grandmother, seminarian…” and I realized I am no longer a seminarian. I was graduated on Monday. If you are a regular reader of this blog (do I have regular readers? That’s something to consider in itself! — oops — tangent) – then you are aware that I was graduated, because I know I blogged about it.
So I’m no longer a seminarian. And I have preliminary fellowship with the Unitarian Universalist Association. Hurray!! I mean, it was a lot of work to get here. But that’s fellowship. That’s not ordination. Now, I fully expect to be ordained, but I am not yet ordained. But the point is, I’m not yet ordained. So where does that leave me?
I could say, “mother, grandmother, minister….” I am in nearly every way a minister, though as yet not an ordained minister. But I think I want to wait for that until the ordination has occurred. I think I do. Perhaps I’ll change my mind, but for now, this is how it is.
I’m in a liminal space now – a threshold. These doorways, they’re interesting places. The important ones are almost always one-way. Once through, there is no going back to exactly where we were before. At the threshold, we don’t have to go through. but once through, everything is changed.
I could still walk away from fellowship. I mean, that option exists. I haven’t yet accepted the mantle of ministry officially. I’m fairly confident that it won’t go down that way, but I haven’t stepped over the threshold yet.
What do I call myself now? Is it important? I mean, the description I’ve written, it isn’t the sum total of my existence. It’s a tiny slice of who I am. It doesn’t say anything about Yankees fan, Whovian, Harry Potter fan, it doesn’t tell you I’m afraid of heights, or that I love to travel and that I flew to Iceland space-available on a USAF C-141 med-evac flight. Still not everything. How could I sum up everything? So why does this one thing matter so much?
It probably doesn’t except that it got me thinking. I’m about to go through this doorway. What’s coming next? There have been quite a few surprises already on this journey. This is an interesting time, full of possibilities. This isn’t to say that it’s the only time for possibilities, it’s just that they are so very present, so very prominent now.
Have you ever been somewhere and just stood in the doorway? That’s where I am. I’m standing in the doorway. I can see behind and ahead, and I think I’ll just rest against the door frame for a while.
That’s all I’ve got. That’s my mite.