An Open Letter to the Woman Who Fat-Shamed My Daughter

Dear Woman,

I understand you fat-shamed my daughter yesterday. I understand you told her she was the kind of person that you hate to sit next to on airplanes. Perhaps you might want to consider that you are the type of person I hate to sit next to on airplanes. Or at dinner parties. I know you didn’t ask for my opinion, but then, my daughter didn’t ask you to chime in on her weight, either.

I am astounded that you feel qualified to give your unsolicited opinion and advice to my daughter about her weight and her health. I’m wondering how much you know about her health? I’m fairly certain you aren’t her primary care provider. Do you have some special healthcare training of which my daughter is unaware? Of course, even if you did, that wouldn’t give you the right to pipe up without being asked.

It’s none of your business, but since you seem to want to make it your business, I will tell you that my daughter is very healthy. And physically active. And strong. So you can rest your mind now.

Or is it really that you just don’t like seeing fat people around? Is the issue really that you feel superior in some way because you’re skinny, and our society’s placed a premium on skinniness?

I mean, I’m just trying to get a handle on all of this. I’m wondering how you would’ve reacted if my daughter had called you out on your extreme rudeness. I’m wondering if you would have responded with half the grace that she exhibited if she’d questioned your health status and suggested that you might seek counseling to help you with your problem of sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong?

I understand that you did all this in front of your young grandchild. How sad. I think it speaks to my daughter’s strength of character that, even though she was hurt by your words, she was also concerned for well-being of your grandchild and the example that you were setting. She worried that you were teaching your grandchild that it’s perfectly OK to comment on other peoples’ physical traits and to lecture them about how they should be doing things – even if you really hardly know them. By the way, it isn’t.

So here’s a tip for you. Even if my daughter were 700 pounds and sitting in front of you eating deep-fried butter, it would still be none of your business. She owes you no explanation. Tend to your own failings. I refer you to Matthew 7:5 — “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.”

That’s all I’ve got. That’s my mite.


3 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Woman Who Fat-Shamed My Daughter

  1. I’m perplexed by the utility of fat shaming. I’ve always figured every single person who is overweight is already too aware of it and actually has to make a deliberate effort to not think about it.

    But we live in a society that runs on humiliation. People act like they care about bullying, while “reality” TV shows and porn fill the entertainment industry, which thrive on the idea of making a public spectacle out of people in their most vulnerable moments. But should it be surprising that such a selfish, materialistic, and non-spiritual society would produce such unfriendly attitudes?


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